Super Smash Truth or Dare
by MysteryMoonbeam
Summary: Hey, welcome to Super Smash Truth or Dare! I'm your host, Villager, and my co-host Kirby and I will be bringing you the weirdest truths and the most humiliating dares for the Smash fighters, courtesy of the audience - that's you! Leave your questions and dares in the reviews, then sit back and watch the fun. See you there!
1. Welcome to Super Smash T or D!

"Ladies and gentlemen... animals, robots, and various blobs... it's time for SUPER SMASH TRUTH OR DARE!"

The crowd cheers, the lights are on, and Villager and Kirby make their way onto the stage to rapturous applause.

"That's right, it's that idea that's been used a million times already! I'm Villager, and I'll be your host for this exciting game." Villager waves to the cheering crowd as he takes his seat. "And this is my co-host, Kirby!"

"Poyoooo!" Kirby jumps around excitedly. And who wouldn't be excited? Well, apart from the poor Smash fighters who are about to get truth-or-dared.

"But," Villager continues, "just because we're the hosts doesn't mean you can't truth or dare one of us!"

"Poyo..." Kirby suddenly doesn't look so excited anymore.

"You can truth or dare any fighter from any Smash game. And of course, with every game comes rules." Villager pulls a whiteboard out of his infinite pockets. On the whiteboard are various rules for the game of truth or dare. "Rule number one, no sexual questions or dares. This isn't rule 34, this isn't Fifty Shades of whatever, so please keep it clean."

"Poyo?"

Villager's face turns bright red. "I'll tell you when you're older, Kirby. Now, rule number two. Romance questions are allowed, but please not in excess. If every single person says something like 'I DARE SAMUS TO KISS CAPTAIN FALCON!' or 'HEY MARTH ARE YOU SINGLE?' then I will flip."

The crowd laughs.

"Rule number 3, please no OCs. We've got nothing against them, but if we allow them, then everyone will have their OC kissing Link or kicking Sonic's ass. No offense, Sonic... oh, and one more thing. We'll try to keep everyone as in-character as possible, but since this isn't a serious fic, expect some out-of-character moments. Ok? Ok."

"Poyo!"

"Well said, Kirby. Now, without further ado... let the game begin! Leave your questions and dares for the Smash fighters in the reviews, and tune in next time to see them in action. Until then, it's adios from your hosts Villager and Kirby!"

The crowd cheers, and the lights fade. It's time to start truth-or-daring!


	2. Truth or Dare 1: Farts and Love Songs

"It's time... for SUPER SMASH TRUTH OR DARE!"

The crowd cheers as Villager and Kirby take their places on the stage.

"Hello, and welcome! I'm your host Villager, and-"

"Poyooo!" Kirby waves to his adoring fans.

"Well, let's get right to it!" Villager reaches into his pockets and pulls out a wad of envelopes. "We've received plenty of truths and dares from the audience. Kirby, would you like to select the first one?"

"Poyo!" Kirby grans a random envelope, tears it open, and pulls out the slip of paper inside. He stares, confused. "...Poyo."

"Oh, that's right. You can't read." Villager takes the paper and clears his throat. "Our first one is a truth. It says 'Bowser, please explain this video.' What video?" Villager shakes the envelope, and a video tape falls to the ground with a clunk. "Ah, here we go. Let's get Bowser on stage!"

The crowd cheers again as Bowser stomps his way on stage, while Kirby dashes away and brings back a video player and a large TV. Villager inserts the video into the player, and a bathroom flashes up on the screen.

"Huh," says Villager. "This doesn't look very-"

Suddenly, Bowser pops up wearing a frilly cupcake bra, and a fraction of a second later he is joined by his koopling Roy. There's a stunned silence in the audience as Bowser grabs a hairbrush and he and Roy start to sing.

"HI BARBIE!" Bowser shrieks.

"HI KEN!" Roy yells.

"WANNA GO FOR A RIDE?!"

"SURE!"

The two of them then warble the chorus. "I'M A BARBIE GIRL, IN A BARBIE WORLD! LIFE IN PLASTIC, IT'S FANTASTI-"

The video was cut short as the real Bowser burns the TV and video player with his scorching flame breath.

"WOAH!" Villager cries. "Aw, hey, I was enjoying that."

Bowser growls.

"Ok, and your question; Bowser, please explain what we just saw."

"LIES! That wasn't real!" he screeches.

"Bowser..." Villager grins and raises an eyebrow. "This is _truth_ or dare..."

"Well... well I don't remember doing that! There's your truth, and if you don't like it I'll stick that stupid video up yo-"

"THANK YOU, Bowser," Villager interrupts. Bowser leaves quietly, and Kirby selects another envelope. "Let's take a look... this one says 'I dare male Robin to sing Lucina a love song while holding her hand.' Let's get Robin and Lucina on the stage!"

There is lots of loud cheering and whistling as Robin and Lucina sheepishly make their way on stage and take a seat next to Villager and Kirby.

"So, Robin..." Villager's eyes glimmer. "...you know what you have to do. Take your darling's hand and sing a song that is sure to win her heart!" he cries over-dramatically.

"Very well," Robin sighs. He gets down on one knee, takes Lucina's hand, takes a deep breath... "AND IIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAAAAAYS LOOOOOVE YOOOOOOOU-"

Everybody grimaces and covers their ears.

"MY DARLING, YOOOU-"

"I GET THE PICTURE!" Lucina shrieks, pulling her hand away. Robin shuts up. "Is that it? Are we done?" she asks hopefully.

"Oh, alright," says Villager. "Let's hear it for Robin and Lucina!"

The pair shuffle off stage to applause, Lucina still holding her aching ears. Kirby chooses another envelope from the pile.

"Let's see..." Villager opens the envelope. "This one says 'I dare Wario to eat a...' Oh crap. '...a super concentrated can of chili.'"

There are protests from the audience, but a dare is a dare, so it must go through.

"Can we get Wario on stage?" Villager mumbles, pulling a can of chili out of his bottomless pockets. Wario strides onto the stage, grinning.

"Wa ha ha! Gimme that can!" Wario snatches the can of chili and crams it in his big mouth, barely chewing before swallowing it.

"Wario, that's super... concentrated..." Villager trails off, watching Wario's face turn red, then blue, then purple.

"Waaa! Here it comes!" Wario announces, and he prepares for the biggest Wario Waft of all time.

"No no no wait-!"

PFFFFFFFFFFT-

...

...

...

WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY.

...

...

...

BZZT-

"Sorry about that, folks. The, er, stench seems to have cleared up." Villager coughs. "A little."

"P-Poyo..."

"Anyway, now Wario's gone, we've got time for one more. Kirby, pick an envelope!"

Kirby picks one and hands it to Villager, who opens it and reads.

"Ah, a romance one. It says 'I dare Ganondorf and Palutena to kiss.' Those poor souls. Well then, let's get them both on stage!"

Nobody arrives. Kirby rushes off stage and comes back dragging the two hapless Smashers by their ears. The audience begins to chant.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

"You know what you gotta do!" says Villager happily.

"Couldn't you have chosen someone a little more..." Palutena struggles to find the right word. "...well, anyone else?"

"I take offense to that," Ganondorf mumbles.

"Sorry guys, a dare's a dare."

"Can it be on the cheek?" Palutena begs.

"Nooope."

"Let's just get this over with," Ganondorf grumbles and he gives Palutena a quick peck on the lips. The crowd cheers and whistles.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Ganondorf and Palutena!" Villager cheers as the two scamper off stage. "Aaaaand... it seems that's all we have time for today!"

"Poyo poyo."

"There were a few truths and dares we didn't quite get around to this time, but fear not! There's always next time, so you'll see your chosen Smash fighters humiliated yet!" Villager laughs gleefully. "Until next time! Villager and Kirby, over and out!"

The audience claps loudly as the spotlight fades.


	3. Truth or Dare 2: Lots of Food

"Welcome to SUPER SMASH TRUTH OR DARE!"

The stage lights up, the audience claps, and Villager and Kirby wave to the cheering crowd.

"That's right, it's that time again! I hope everyone enjoyed last time, because today we've got even more craziness for those poor Smashers to take part in!"

More cheering. Villager takes a big pile of envelopes out his pockets.

"And once again," he continues, "we've received many truths and dares from you guys. A lot, actually, so please don't be disappointed if we don't use yours right away! Anyway, Kirby, please pick the first truth or dare!"

Kirby plucks one from the pile. Villager takes it and reads aloud.

"Oh, now here's an interesting dare. It says 'I dare Master Hand to thumb wrestle with Crazy Hand.' Well, let's see if we can fit both of them on stage first."

The two giant hands float down onto the stage.

"One, two, three, four," says Master Hand, "I declare a thumb war!" And with that declaration, the two hands begin a heated battle of thumbs. For a second it looks like Master Hand has won, but Crazy Hand manages to wriggle his erratically-moving thumb free. And so the battle continues...

...and continues...

...

...

...

"Come on, guys," Villager yawns. "It's been nearly half an hour. Let's face it, you're as good as one another. Let's move on."

The two Hands leave, and another envelope is chosen and opened.

"This is a question for all the fighters," Villager announces. "'Does anybody watch The Amazing World of Gumball?'"

There is a short silence. Then, slowly, a few people slink on stage.

"Ok! We've got... Mega Man, Luigi, Zelda, and Lucario. That's... interesting."

"Poyo!"

"You too, Kirby? Then that's five." He turned to the others. "So why do you watch it?"

"It's a good show," says Luigi. "But-a Mario, he won't-a watch it."

"I need _something_ to do while being held captive," says Zelda.

"I'll have to check it out sometime," says Villager. "Thank you everyone! Let's pick another, shall we?"

Kirby picks one and hands it to Villager. Villager tears open the envelope.

"This one says 'I dare Ike to punch Roy in the face, yell 'YOU'LL GET NO SYMPATHY FROM ME!' and run.' Well that seems unnecessary, but who cares, let's get Ike and Roy on stage!"

The two Fire Emblem heroes make their way on stage to loud applause.

"But I don't want to be punched in the face," Roy whines.

"And I have no reason to punch Roy in the face," Ike adds.

"Sorry guys, I don't make the dares." Villager tries to sound sympathetic, but he was clearly enjoying himself.

Ike sighs. Roy flinches. Then Ike finally yells, "YOU'LL GET NO SYMPATHY FROM ME!" and launches a swift but powerful punch right in Roy's face. As Ike makes a mad dash off stage, Roy falls to the ground, whimpering and swearing.

Then, out of nowhere, Olimar shows up in a Pizza Hut uniform, his crew of Pikmin carrying a massive stack of pizza boxes. "I've got a delivery of free pizza for every assist trophy and everyone who was cut from the Smash roster."

"What? We didn't order any-"

"Poyo!" Kirby grabs the pizza before Villager can finish his sentence.

"Free pizza isn't going to fix my nose!" Roy cries, still rolling on the floor in pain. Doctor Mario comes on stage to carry him away, and everybody else enjoys free pizza.

"This is delicious," says Popo with a mouthful of pepperoni pizza. Nana nods in agreement.

"There's a Pichu in my pizza!" Wolf yells.

"Pichu! Pichu!"

"Waluigi hates this." Waluigi throws a pizza at Lucas.

"Ok, I think it's about time we get back on track," says Villager. "Kirby, please pick our next truth or dare."

Kirby does so, and hands the envelope to Villager.

"Oh, now here's a long one. 'I dare Kirby, Yoshi and Dedede to eat a national monument - the world's biggest cake - then I dare Master Hand to arrest them for eating a national monument, then I dare Meta Knight, Luigi and Ike to bust them outta prison like a boss.' Wow, that's a long-winded one, but let's give it a go! Kirby, go and get Yoshi and Dedede. You know what to do next!"

"Poyo!"

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"This is Falco reporting live from the Smashcopter! Our three big eaters have now arrived at the world's largest cake and are devouring it like Pac-Man eats pellets! Yoshi just laid an egg for no apparent reason! OH! Kirby just sucked up King Dedede's hat, and he is NOT impressed! Look at them go! They're covered in icing, I can't tell who's who anymore! They're halfway there OH BUT HERE COMES MASTER HAND! He's got hold of Kirby, and now Yoshi's attacking! Dedede's running away! Now Master Hand's got Yoshi, and he's going for Dedede! HE'S GOT DEDEDE! He's taking them all away to prison! Back to you, Villager!"

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"Thank you, Falco. I've got Meta Knight, Ike and Luigi here with me now. So guys, are you ready to go prison busting?"

"You do realize that this is _illegal?_" says Meta Knight.

"I sure do. Bye bye!"

The three prison busters leave, quietly muttering to themselves.

"While they're gone, can you pick another envel- oh wait, Kirby's in prison." Villager sighs. "I guess we'll see if he's been freed next time. That's all for today, so see you later everyone!"

The audience cheers once more, and Villager leaves the stage.


End file.
